第58部分(第4/8頁)

　pencil　the　whole　time。

John　looked　at　me　with　his　strange　eyes　…　bloodshot；　distant；　on　the　verge　of　tears　。。。　and　yet　calm；　too；　as　if　crying　was　not　such　a　bad　way　of　life；　not　once　you　got　used　to　it。　He　even　smiled　a　little。　He　smelled　of　Ivory　soap；　I　remember；　as　clean　and　fresh　as　a　baby　after　his　evening　bath。

〃Hello；　boss；〃　he　said；　and　then　reached　out　and　took　both　of　my　hands　in　both　of　his。　It　was　done　with　a　perfect　unstudied　naturalness。

〃Hello；　John　。〃　There　was　a　little　block　in　my　throat；　and　I　tried　to　swallow　it　away。　〃I　guess　you　know　that　we're　ing　down　to　it　now。　Another　couple　of　days。〃

He　said　nothing；　only　sat　there　holding　my　hands　in　his。　I　think；　looking　back　on　it；　that　something　had　already　begun　to　happen　to　me；　but　I　was　too　fixed　…　mentally　and　emotionally　…　on　doing　my　duty　to　notice。

〃Is　there　anything　special　you'd　like　that　night　for　dinner；　John　？　We　can　rustle　you　up　most　anything。　Even　bring　you　a　beer；　if　you　want。　just　have　to　put　her　in　a　coffee　cup；　that's　all。〃

〃Never　got　the　taste〃；　he　said。

〃Something　special　to　eat；　then？〃

His　brow　creased　below　that　expanse　of　clean　brown　skull。　Then　the　lines　smoothed　out　and　he　smiled。　〃Meatloaf'd　be　good。〃

〃Meatloaf　it　is。　With　gravy　and　mashed。〃　I　felt　a　tingle　like　you　get　in　your　arm　when　you've　slept　on　it；　except　this　one　was　all　over　my　body。　In　my　body。　〃What　else　to　go　with　it？〃

〃Dunno；　boss。　Whatever　you　got；　I