then when she chased me around at recess and tried to lay kisses on me; the whole school

started singing; “Bryce and Juli sitting in a tree; K…I…S…SI…

N…G…”

My first year in town was a disaster。

Third grade wasn't much better。 She was still hot on my trail every time I turned around。

Same with fourth。 But then in fifth grade I took action。

It started out slow — one of those Nah…that's…not…right ideas you get and forget。 But the more

I played with the idea; the more I thought; What

better way to ward Juli off? What better way to say to her; “Juli; you are not my type”?

And so; my friend; I hatched the plan。

I asked Shelly Stalls out。

To fully appreciate the brilliance of this; you have to understand that Juli hates Shelly Stalls。

She always has; though it beats me why。 Shelly's nice

and she's friendly and she's got a lot of hair。 What's not to like? But Juli hated her; and I was

going to make this little gem of knowledge the solution

to my problem。

What I was thinking was that Shelly would eat lunch at our table and maybe walk around a

little with me。 That way; anytime Juli was around; all I'd

have to do was hang a little closer to Shelly and things would just naturally take care of

themselves。 What happened; though; is that Shelly took

things way too seriously。 She went around telling everybody — including Juli — that we were

i